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Michael Scott AKA Moto Tard - "Grapefruit sized nuts"

Posted by Hellphy Admin on

Michael Scott AKA Moto Tard - "Grapefruit sized nuts"

What is your name and what do you do? 

My name is Michael Scott and Im a Systems Engineer at General Dynamics. 

Recently a graphic video of you coming up short on a dirt bike has been going viral online. What were the steps leading up to this crash? 

As far as steps leading up to the crash, I could give you my life story but Instagram has a limit on the message length haha. I saw Raha hit it, he seemed to think it was gnarly, and I knew it was something I COULD do too, just had to sack up. It was something I wanted to prove to me and there wasn't any talking me out of it. I did a couple run ups, and had a bad feeling about how far I was getting in third. Instead of stopping, I stiffened my suspension all the way, and checked my spokes. Went back to the corner of the track, and someone had crashed and left their bike off the track right in my path. I sat for about 10 minutes waiting for them to clear their bike. Eventually they picked it up and started walking it. I was so anxious, I went around them. I went slow to not be a dick and blow past them, then got on it in 4th afterwards. I was committed, and knew I was going slower than I had wanted.

I figured I would land on top of the table and probably rebound up and land somewhere on the downside of the ramp. I came up too short and saw I was going to case straight into the lip. As soon as I was in the air I saw it and regretted being impatient. There was nothing I could do, just shook my head in anticipation.

People had believed that you died on that crash, and rightfully so. What were your list of injuries from the crash? 

Injuries from the crash:

Slight fracture on the wrist (was all good to pick up stuff and use, mostly fine now even)

  • Pulled my groin from my legs splitting apart on the seat
  • Bruised dick and balls
  • Grapefruit size nuts for a few days
  • Bruised thighs
  • Pulled something in my chest (sneezing fuckin sucks)
  • Bruised collarbone

And generally felt like shit everywhere. Felt like I went to the gym and had been recovering from it for like 4 days straight.


Who was filming?
My buddy Hutch was filming on his phone and put his phone down even sooner than my girlfriend who had my phone. They both were disappointed they didn't finish the fuckin shot haha. My bio has said that for months in advance because my other friend, Aaron had a habit of looking away from filming when I would crash. So shout out to my girlfriend Allie for getting the most of the shot out of everyone filming that day haha.

What was the worst part of the whole experience?
The worst part of the whole experience was seeing my negative impact on everyone else. Everyone was worried and freaked out and I felt terrible about that. I didn't care that I was hurt, and the keyboard warriors were aggravating, but thats the internet for you. I just hate bringing other people down so that really weighed on me.

Will you try it again?
Really good chance I won't be trying it again. The only way I would is if someone is hitting it the day Im there and I can pace them and I have some decent suspension. That is assuming Fox lets me back on their track haha. My biggest concern is having my friends/family be pissed at me for putting them through it all again if I crash a second time.

What’s next for Mototard?
And whats next for Mototard? Probably a new bike haha. I've been trying my whole life to build my own track/compound (Claptown MX) and Im finally close to making that a reality. Thats the next biggest thing for me and Im really excited to make it into a reality, but its a process. Hopefully I'll be able to host a $500 car rally up/bullshit there next year. Im envisioning Gambler 500 crossed with Florideah Swampfest, but a lot smaller.

But thats about it. Chugging along at life like always. Slow and steady. At least my balls dont hurt anymore haha.

Oh yeah, Im not sure if the baby factory is still open for business or not, but Im MUCH happier to be sterilized than paralyzed. Kids are expensive anyway, so its a win either way.


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